Wipe Out

I can think of a few reasons why they - later I'll explain who "they" are - would have decided to wipe my memory of that strange weekend.

Eventually I may be able to access the truth but for now:

1. Maybe I had such a severe emotional reaction to this disaster - bordering on a major breakdown - that they felt they had to resort to extreme measures. That's the most cinematic option.  It even makes sense. Say I was catatonic after Mick's unexplained visit whereas before I'd been just a normal teenage girl with a promising future - the people who sent him, or my parents, might have panicked over what they'd just done.

Dont forget they took these pop stars very seriously and handled them almost like a secret weapon. In those long-ago days raw sexuality was explosive. One reason the authorities (MI5) hid Paul McCartney's sudden death from the public was they feared it would provoke a rash of adolescent suicides.

The footage of screaming girls addled and paralyzed with lust for their idols, suggests something new and deadly was in the mix. That they sometimes collapsed and pee'd their pants must have interested those CIA psychiatrists, who would have been onto it for their own nefarious purposes - in fact I know they were.

Dr. Cameron wrote that rock music could be used to spread mental illness which he believed as far back as the 1950s was contagious. In 1965 Cameron was no longer running the Allan Memorial but his "most enthusiastic disciple" Dr Peter Roper, had succeeded him and Roper was my father's psychiatrist and would have known our address which was "202 rue Dauphin"- a courtly combination recalling Joan of Arc's meeting with the heir to the throne of France. Maybe Mick imagined he was about to be crowned by some crazy girl and dragged into a war ...

Possibly Roper, the ex RAF pilot shot down over Normandy turned MKULTRA doctor was also in contact with the Stones on this, their first North American tour? Maybe Jimmy Savile was in the background too?

2. What could they have been thinking?  Send in a pop star to pose as a suitor, like a scene from a medieval play, and a 14 year old would have no defenses and faint on the spot? And then what? Was this some kind of belated birthday present from the Masons to us? I even suspect Roper of conspiring with my mother in the wake of my dad's treatment which left him unable to earn a living.

3. Anyway, my mother had to be in on the plan. Otherwise why did she go along when Mick showed up at our door, smoothing the way for a basement tryst? Was she envisioning another kind of future for me?

She once told me she'd been led to think I could have a career at the United Nations- but I dont recall being informed about that. Was this something she discussed with Dr. Roper who had connections in Aerospace and global intelligence? I did represent my high school once at some futuristic conference in a downtown hotel. All I remember is meeting four tall good looking boys who considered themselves to be geniuses and were devotees of Ayn Rand.

Maybe Dr Roper was offering solutions as my parents struggled with health problems and fears for our future.

Which brings me to a slightly different scenario:

4. that Mick was sent to the home of one of Roper's patients to recruit his daughter as a groupie. Fourteen was the magic age in the music business. Brian Jones had already impregnated more than one 14 year old girl. When Leonard Cohen finally made it to LA his first words getting off the plane were "Where are the 14 year old girls!?"

Is it possible that my scrambled teenage brain sensed a trap, and that whatever spewed from my mouth raised fears (blabbermouth that I was) I might talk to my friends and end up exposing their child trafficking racket -

Which was what it was.

I could add (this got deleted from an earlier draft) that I have never, to my conscious knowledge, been involved in prostitution, as an adult. And perhaps owing to my very strong inner barriers I have no such memories from childhood. But if I was in the Monarch program I could very well have been deployed as a child in order to blackmail politicians- after which they would have deleted my memory of the encounter. And there are other reasons to think I had childhood "espionage" programming including photographic memory when I was younger.

These days we're quicker to spot child abuse but back then it was just one of those mysteries of the Church of Rock.

In this video we learn that Mick himself had started out as a rent boy servicing men at Leicester Square:

Was he just doing what he was told, working his way up the ladder of abuse?


Maybe the death of Brian Jones holds some clues. Maybe in the background ruthless handlers were always orchestrating trauma.